Dominoes ~ My ADHD Story ~ Unique Like Yours

For my first blog, I want to welcome you to my brain. It's messy in here ~ I have ADHD.

If you've read my bio you'll know that I was diagnosed at 43, and that it turned my world upside down. For the better. But not immediately. Because it got worse, then better, then worse, then better...yes, it's called LIFE.

This is my ADHD story. I have a feeling it might be a bit like yours, a lot like yours, or nothing at all like yours. Your ADHD story is different. This we know.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 26. Meds. Okay, no longer sobbing over Haagen-dazs, this seemed like an improvement.

Fast-forward 17 years of numbness...

Unsatisfied with my physician in regard to my brain, I found me a psychiatrist. Within a month, my most epic psychiatrist said,

"It's possible you are not depressed at all. What do you know about ADHD?"

BOOM!

Life flipped upside down, shaking all the pieces loose. It was time to rebuild. I dove into the research. Check. Check. Check. Yep. That's me. 100%. But just for the heck of it, because the hospital 13 kms away had a SPECT Scanner, and because I'm in Canada and it was free, I was scanned. It clearly showed ADHD. I knew even then that the results of SPECT scans were too subjective for this to be scientifically conclusive, but it sure helped other people BELIEVE ME. It put comments like, "But you're not hyper..." to rest. Amen. (Get it? Dr. Amen?)

Although we are not all alike, there is a common journey of processing that happens when an adult learns they have ADHD. People I talked to reported having a similar initial experience, like puzzle pieces falling into place. I see it more as a domino effect.

Looking back, memories of shameful incidents in my past now looked different. I. Couldn't. Help. It.

So a lot of self-blame and shame disappeared. This set off the first domino, which fell right onto the 'blame' domino.

Looking at the moment, that 'blame' needed to land somewhere if it was not going to be weighing me down anymore. The list of who to blame: Mom, Dad, my sister, my step-mother, my husband, my past teachers, my schools, my colleagues, society, the MAAAAAAN.

I was pretty angry. The victim. I felt that way for about a year. The obvious next domino to activate was 'lose the anger'. OM. Mindfulness and Meditation. Binged on audiobooks (Eckhart Tolle, Byron Katie...and many more.) It WORKED!

As dominoes do, my 'new found wellness' domino knocked down the next tile: 'job satisfaction', which was significantly reduced due to this sentence:

"ADHD is not a learning disability.".

Looking to the future, something had to change. I could not continue to work in such a limiting environment. I tried to change things from the 'inside' and, although I did not fail my students, it took more energy than I had to continue this uphill battle alone.

And this knocked a 'new idea' domino into place. I researched other possible careers where I could work with ADHDers without teaching them about Math and Government. Next domino: 'ADHD Life Coaching'.

So, I don't transition easily...I started training 5 years later.

Aaaaannnnd....we're caught up!

So nice to meet you!

TS